Definitely the best environ of the park, at least once Maximum RPM! gets up and running. Making up for the lack of adult rides in Born in the USA and Lost in the 70’s, this area is currently chocked full of some of the better and more unique rides in the park, plus the themeing is definitely a step above the rest of the areas as well, with street markings, multiple gardens and plazas, and the multitude of two-story building structures help create a more immersive environment as well.
If you’re coming in through Born in the USA the first thing you’ll see on your left in one of the area’s London Calling booths.
Also on the left is the Carnaby Street Café, this area’s main indoor eatery and one of the larger ones in the park, with a fairly eclectic menu. On the right is a row of your typical, slacker teenaged buildings which might just appear as if they’re staring back at you. These would belong to The Punk Pit, which looked like it houses a children’s bouncy fortress/ obstacle course. On the other side of the Punk Pit is Piccadilly Circus which I think is only a small pathway that leads
to the other Lost in the 70’s entrance, and the Guitar in the Stone, which I somehow completely missed.
Straight ahead at the center of a large plaza is the London Cab Ride, also the best flat ride in the park. Unlike the Muddin’ Monster Race, this one runs with a decently fast program (nothing mind-blowing, though), but like their other circular flat rides the queue area is covered and equipped with misting fans. The ride itself is another contribution from HUSS, one of their Breakdance models. The cabs feature lights that work after hours, and the program alternates the speed throughout the ride from a ‘gentle fun’ speed to a ‘hang on’ speed. Factor in an easily viewable location, and this one is definitely worth a spin or two.
On the other side of the road is All the King’s Horses, the park’s merry-go-round. The park’s description made it sound like it would be some kind of mythical, Arthurian spin on a traditional merry-go-round but from what I could tell it was a standard Chance Rides carrousel, the same as we have in our local mall’s food court. I was expecting a bit more here, especially considering how some modern theme parks have used their carrousel to express their unique identity, such as Island’s of Adventure’s Carro-Seuss-El.
Just past the carrousel inside the old mall structure is by far the park’s most enigmatic attraction, as well as possibly their best, if for no other reason than it is able to defy almost every convention you expect from an amusement park ride and yet still be amazing. It is the Moody Blues: Nights in White Satin – The Trip.
The ride begins almost immediately as you enter the queue under the impressive painted entry sign. There’s first a main series of switchbacks in a dark-lit, air conditioned room with several artifacts on the walls included a giant, glow in the dark knight and a holographic skull. Around a small corner there is an attendant waiting to give you a set of 3D glasses (for free, even! At Cedar Point with Disaster Transport
you have to pay like $3.00 for a set of plastic glasses).
Put them on and then make your way around a small special effects black lit hallway before coming to a rotating tunnel (they have a “Chicken’s Shortcut” around it for those who are afraid they might not have the stomach to make it through.) You are now in the ride station, where an attendant will usher you into one of two, four passenger cars. The cars depart in pairs and move through the entire ride together. I’d recommend trying to get the front seat of the first car to start with since there are times when if you’re riding in the second car the first will obstruct your view, but if you’re going around for seconds there are a couple of effects you’ll miss in the first car that can only be seen in the back.
I’m not going to go into a detailed breakdown of this ride, partly because I don’t want to take away the surprise of riding it the first time but also because to describe it all here would be fairly useless. There is no story line, at least not a literal one. I find that most dark rides that try to have some sort of literal story usually fail, because let’s face it: they’re created by people in the amusement industry, not the Coen Brothers.
This attraction is more fully realized because it uses the music to dictate the dark ride effects and thus can create a far more effective if not abstract emotional arc to the ride experience. That basically means that if you simply don’t like the music (which is unique for its orchestration and classical influences- there is also a scene where there is no music and just a narrative), then I can tell you you’re not going to like the ride and 
will be left wondering what the point of all that was.
But if you can appreciate the music and are open to trying something that might seem a bit weird at first, I think you’ll be blown away by Nights in White Satin if not for its special effects then just for that it is so refreshingly unconventional and, yes, even artistic, it’s quite exciting and invigorating for a theme park-weary traveler to get off a ride feeling like they’ve experienced something truly different from the usual stuff.
That said, not all the scenes work, there were a couple that either seemed to be missing some effects or the effects still felt a bit too ‘classic dark ride’, which is something you don’t want with a ride like this. You can also catch a glimpse of a bright red EXIT sign or two along the way, but thankfully they weren’t quite as intrusive as I thought they could have been. Some of the particularly good effects (in no particular order, and this is hardly a complete list or even a list that mentions some of the best): A couple very good holographic effects that seem to enter your vehicle, smoke rings, water droplets, and many, many candles. It’s also very dark (thanks partly to the 3D shades that act as sunglasses) so you can never see the riggings that give away the effects, and in many cases you’re completely unaware of your orientation.
If there is one other disadvantage to Nights in White Satin – The Trip, it is that it’s not very re-ridable. I’d say it’s best to let one ride sit on you for several hours before going back, otherwise it’ll lose some of the mystery that makes it seem good. On a simple satisfaction level alone I’d probably rate this as the second best ride in the park, but if I were to really analyze things from an intellectual creative point of view I could easily see myself declaring this the best ride in the park, and maybe even… best non-coaster ride in any park?
Okay, there’s no way I could make that claim without leading to disappointment. Still, this one is definitely worth it, especially for any dark ride enthusiasts out there.
Continuing…
Secluded in the far back corner of the environ, dressed up like the Globe Theater and sporting an “evolution of the rock star” mural is the Roadies Stunt Show. The show is a brisk twenty minutes (was it even that?) that contains some okay stunts and set pieces mostly involving trampolines but overall felt far underwhelming considering the impressive size of the open air theater containing it.
It starts with an introduction to the speechless, hapless roadie-wannabe. He tries out a guitar for a minute, and then the band leader and his roadie posse enter stage and tell him he’s not cut out to be a roadie and to hit the road, etc. You know, because the Globe Theater is meant for tragedy on such a Shakespearian level. They then show off some of their stunts, they leave, the roadie comes back and accidentally ruins the set in some attempted physical comedy, then the rest of the show consists more or less of the angered band leader and roadie posse chasing him around the set performing various stunts and hi-jinx before they set off the pyrotechnic finale and the roadie gets hired and everyone cheers.
Like I said, it’s all nearly Shakespearian.
Next door is a small gift shop named The Underground Souvenirs which again is a fairly basic collection of rock and roll themed t-shirts and other knick knacks. If you’re looking for traditional roller coaster t-shirts that’s more than just a logo (like the kind I help design…) you’re not going to have much luck anywhere, but if you’ve got a favorite rock band chances are you’ll find more than enough souvenirs.
Further on the main midway is a double-decker bus in which a pair cleverly named The Fab 2 had an evening show consisting of all Beatles songs. They were very good and talented, especially considering they were playing music intended for four. We stayed through the first half hour and I felt kind of bad they (and many other performers throughout the park) didn’t have more of an audience since they were playing for about six or seven people plus whoever happened to wander by.
On the right side of the midway is the area’s final flat ride, the whimsically named Magic Mushroom Garden. It’s extensively themed to this magical English garden which contains colorful toadstools and butterflies like in the fairytales… okay, who are they kidding, if you’re over the age of thirteen
(or maybe even younger these days, I don’t know) you know what this ride is really about. The front entry way contains a “toddler play area” which I only saw consisted of three very small foam toadstools that toddlers could step on top of. The queue takes you along the back side of the ride with the far switchback area by the ride op booth also covered. As with Muddin’ Monster Race, I originally thought that this was a HUSS Troika when it’s actually a smaller family version of that model, a HUSS Airboat. The ride itself is okay but better for the 8-13 age range rather than any serious flat ride. Supposedly it’s designed to glow under black light but passing by it at night the effects weren’t particularly dazzling, with only the giant mushrooms and butterflies decorating the ride glowing at all.
Right behind the Magic Mushroom Ride is another at-present construction site but hopefully ready before too long, the Phonehenge. I managed to snap a photo of them lowering some of the props in place, and yes, this is a re-creation of Stonehenge made with red telephone booths. It’s going to be home to a magic show and other presentations. I’m fairly certain this one was created the same night they came up with the rock-cow-billy and the Magic Mushroom Ride.
On each corner of the intersection that splits between the shortcut across the lagoon to Born in the USA, and the bridge to Rock & Roll Heaven ahead are two more walk-up food venues, the Cod Piece Fish-and-Chip, and the Queens Head Pub, with a nice patio overlooking the lagoon. I’m sure all of these uniquely themed restaurants will be of great service to the park on a busy summer day especially once they’ve expanded more, but I do have to wonder if two of them right next to each other was really the best logistical planning.
Before we exit British Invasion and head across the bridge into the final environ of the park, let’s take one last, forlorn look at the silent red and grey structure behind us that is Maximum RPM. 
As you can tell, the ride obviously is related to the Italian Job coasters with the MINI inspired cars and tight layout. But I think this is really a more distant relative to those designs.
This one is also much more based on traditional roller coaster elements such as height and speed than the Italian Job coasters, which from what I’ve heard Paramount
designed the scenery first and then made Premier fit the track to that.
Connecting the track on the lift to the track off the drop is what had apparently been causing the delays.
The station will sport the world’s first karaoke queue which should be murder.
This blue car was parked halfway up the lift hill all morning.
More cars parked in the station. From pictures I’ve seen, I’ve counted two red ones, a blue one, a green one and this British flag one, for a total of five cars.
Seems a nice complement to the Eagles style family thrills and along with Led Zeppelin will finish off the park’s thrill ride triangle.
Well, to be brutally honest, at a glance I really don’t think I’m missing out on very much. Yeah, the Ferris wheel lift looks great and unique, but looks at the layout that follows. First drop is steep, and it follows up into an almost overbank curve, but that gives up into a short series of shallow turns that seem to be there only so they could meet the bare minimum requirements of a ‘roller coaster’. It’s never a good sign when a ride’s signature element is its lift hill. I have to think (and this seems true of the other coasters but is most evident with this one) that their actual layouts, i.e. the heart and soul of what will make a coaster any good or not, seemed to be neglected by the creative teams while in the drawing rooms and were left up to an engineer whose only objectives was to fit together a series of elements as easily as possible within a given set of parameters.
Well, maybe I’m being TOO unfair. Let’s take another look.
Alright, I’m imagining that I’m in the front row of one of Maximum RPM’s mini convertibles. Whatever 80’s new wave soundtrack they have on-ride starts up and we roll out into the Ferris Wheel lift. I can see the rest of the layout with the car at the top of the lift dropping out right in front of me. The lift starts up and slowly we curve our way to the top. There’s a pause as everything locks up, and hopefully the music will hit a dramatic note here to play up the anticipation of rolling over the first drop. A small push, and off we go! There’s not much explicit airtime on the first drop partly due to the short train length, but the angular change that comes with such a steep drop helps make up for it. The pullout is faster and more intense feeling riding it in person, and the car makes its way up into a steeply banked hill. But instead of falling back out of it as is the normal expectation, we’re given a moment to pause as there’s a gradual decent that allows the sensation of building speed create the excitement before ripping around the turn at the bottom at once again maximum speed. A partial helix up into another moment of pause with the midcourse brake run, and then it’s another spiraling downward helix that once again creates the sensation of building speed as the forces around the curve become greater and greater as we make our way down to the ground. But instead of heading back up into another slower paced alternation as we’re getting accustomed to, there’s instead a fast, lean bunny hop that gives some nice floater mixed with an oddly banked entrance before changing directions again for a quick, hard turn with some real rotational g-forces before slamming into the final set of magnetic brakes. Not finished yet, there’s a quick moment of comic relief as we make the slow turn back into the station we get a ‘car wash’. Overall fun, if not too short, I’d give it maybe a 6 out of 10, 7 if I’m feeling generous.
Congratulations, you’ve just read what has to be the world’s first imaginary ride review (I evidently rode the Magic Mushroom Ride once too many doing this one). In gratitude for sticking with me this long, I hereby award you with photos of Maximum RPM making one of its first test runs:
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