Gatlinburg

Tennessee, U.S.A. – Monday, June 12th & Tuesday, June 13th, 2023

It was a full and busy day at Dollywood, but the 8:00pm closing hour meant there was time for a few more attractions before turning in for the night. With all of the mountain coasters in Pigeon Forge checked off the day before, we headed down to Gatlinburg for a couple more that were open late.

Ripley’s Mountain Coaster

This mountain coaster was originally built in 2017 by Rowdy Bear (of Pigeon Forge’s Alpine Snow Park fame), but was sold to the Ripley’s conglomerate of museums and aquariums in 2022. It wasn’t clear that there was anything that connected this mountain coaster to their “Believe It or Not” brand, other than to move package deals with their other nearby attractions. Given the complete absence of any crowds, I’m not sure whatever their business strategy was is working. This was one of the more generic mountain coasters in the area.

The coaster itself was a fairly decent Wiegand Gen 1 model. Speedy on the downhill run, a good stretch of rushing through the forest at the top before a couple of helices near the bottom, but far too short overall. An official length isn’t posted but I believe this is the shortest mountain coaster in the region. To make up for this, tickets include at least two rides, although are also slightly pricier. I was tempted to get the upgraded version that included a ride on the zipline coasters that intertwines with the lower portion of the mountain coaster, but it wasn’t operating. Fortunately there was no queue so we could complete our laps quickly.

Hillbilly Golf

I had fond memories from nearly twenty years prior of a round of mini golf at Hillbilly Golf in Gatlinburg, and we resolved to play another round of the game at some point on this visit as well. After researching various newer mini golf options in Pigeon Forge and Gatlinburg, it seemed as if most were either fairly generic or trying to be an overpriced Instagram museum, leaving Hillbilly Golf as still the best, most unique golf to pick from. It’s sandwiched between the two mountain coasters along the Gatlinburg parkway, which also made it a very convenient stop for this evening.

The novelty of Hillbilly Golf is that it’s built along a steep hillside that requires taking a homemade funicular to the top. Two mini golf courses then wind their way halfway down the hill, where at the end you ride the funicular the rest of the way down to the parkway.

It’s the best kind of old-school mini golf, with plenty of homemade props and obstacles and a different challenge on every hole.

Some require critical problem solving skills, others are simply a test of one’s putting accuracy, and a few are down to pure dumb luck.

I luckily captured this hole-in-one on video. (I also had two holes in one of my own, though I guess you have to take my word on it.)

After all these years, I’m happy to report that Hillbilly Golf is still the GOAT of mini golf courses. However, we were cutting it close to 11:00pm when the final mountain coaster was scheduled to close, and bottlenecking on some of the final holes and to get back down on the funicular had me worried that we’d miss it. Fortunately things cleared up and we were able to make it to our final attraction of the night just in time.

Moonshine Mountain Coaster

We made it in time to buy some of the last tickets of the night on the Moonshine Mountain Coaster. It gave a peaceful night ride which included a kaleidoscopic lighting package along the forested course.

As yet another Wiegand Gen 1 mountain coaster, there’s not much differentiating the Moonshine Mountain Coaster from Ripley’s Mountain Coaster just down the road. It’s slightly older and slightly longer, and in my estimation slightly better if you had to pick between the two. But really, at this point with some dozen or so mountain coasters in the area, if you’re going out to Gatlinburg to do one of these, you’re the kind of person who’s already committed to doing both and probably several more, whether or not you need them for your coaster count.

Mountain coasters are not usually as thrilling as their full-sized gravity counterparts found at the likes of Dollywood, but I believe a combination of the relatively long ride duration, flexible engineering, minimalist vehicles, and exploration of a natural setting, gives them some primal pleasure that’s increasingly hard to come by on modern roller coasters. To that I say the more the merrier.

In fact, there were two more mountain coasters in Gatlinburg that I wouldn’t have time to get to the next morning. One was at Ober Mountain, which required an expensive all-day pass to all the summer activities at the mountain resort (and as the region’s only ADG-built mountain coaster was likely a bit more rickety than the rest). The other was a Brandauer single rail mountain coaster that I’ve heard crazy things about, but its location at Anakeesta required a similarly high upfront cost and time commitment, and with a second mountain coaster coming to the property in a few months it made more sense to hold off until my eventual next visit. In addition to that one, there’s already two more mountain coasters to have opened since my visit, technically three given one is a racing installation.

Salt & Pepper Shaker Museum

Instead of more mountain coasters, the next morning¹ in Gatlinburg involved a visit to one of the more offbeat museums in the region: the Salt & Pepper Shaker Museum.

This family-run museum costs $3.00 admission. It was founded in 2001 by an archaeologist and her husband to house their collection of salt and pepper shakers. The museum consists of rows of display cabinets stacked with over twenty thousand salt and pepper shaker pairs, arranged by theme.

For the most part the museum is just a chance to look for shakers that are particularly clever or beautiful. There are a few handmade interpretive panels to answer common questions like: which has more holes? Salt or pepper? (The answer: it depends, and varies on the culture!)

This is the kind of museum I love: somebody with an incredible amount of passion or knowledge for a particular subject invites me to be a part of the thing they’ve dedicated a large part of their life to. With a lot of modern museums there’s an emphasis to “meet visitors at their level” which can sometimes come off as timidness, as if the museum is trying to make the case for why their subject matters at all. I want to be overwhelmed a little bit, just enough to make me realize “this is important to somebody, even though I rarely thought much about it, and that makes me want to discover more.”

Great Smoky Mountains National Park

Tennessee & North Carolina, U.S.A.

From the Salt and Pepper Shaker Museum we didn’t have to travel far to our first stop in Great Smoky Mountains National Park. The Roaring Fork Motor Nature Trail is a 5.5 mile one-way loop road starting and ending in Gatlinburg and snaking through the surrounding wilderness on National Park land.

There are numerous pull-overs along the road, some just for scenic viewpoints or picnic areas, others at trailheads for longer foot treks. Space was limited, so sometimes we had to move on past a particular stop or wait for a bottleneck to clear, but there were more than enough to choose from and in many cases we had the road or a stop to ourselves.

Towards the end the loop follows alongside the Roaring Fork creek, offering some of the best spots to get out and explore for a bit.

Afterward we began the main route through Great Smoky Mountains National Park, stopping first at the Sugarlands Visitor Center to get ranger recommendations for sights along our route, see some exhibits, and to pay our parking fee. I had a National Park Pass that turned out to not be very much use on this trip: Mammoth Cave is free admission with paid cave tours (which makes sense), and later on New River Gorge is free for everyone, but Great Smoky Mountains technically charges a parking fee instead of an entry fee, even though for all practical purposes it’s the same idea. Most National Parks with an entry fee also charge by the vehicle, not by the person, and have different rates and rules for people arriving by bus, bike, or foot. It’s not too much money, but it’s nice to feel like your National Park Pass is getting use.

Great Smoky Mountains National Park is the most visited National Park in the United States. I assume this is because it has a fairly central location along the east coast with a major highway nearby, making it easy access for numerous large metro areas in the southeast. I wouldn’t rate it among the more spectacular national parks, especially compared to many out west, but it does have a very picturesque, peaceful atmosphere… if you can get away from the crowds. It covers a massive area with tons of hiking trails for overland excursions, although if you’re a day tourist passing through there are relatively few “destination sights” or easy interpretive loop trails to interesting landmarks. I don’t want to demand nature to conform to a set of expectations shaped by theme parks, but it is always nice when the two happen to align.

One of the first sights we did come to was a roadside pullover for the Chimney Tops, a mountain whose geologic attributes have carved out a set of chimney-like formations.

This was also a good area to enjoy some of the other lush green mountain scenery that surrounds us.

Further up the road, straddling the Tennessee and North Carolina border is Newfound Gap, a popular vista point at over 5,000 feet of elevation.

It’s mostly a large parking lot with scenic viewpoints surrounding it. Not much in the way of trails to hike… unless you feel like hiking the Appalachian Trail that crosses the gap. If you want a walk through the woods it’s only a little under 2,000 miles to reach the end of the trail!

Newfound Gap does have some of the best views in the entire park. Still, we were ready to move on after about 15 minutes.

The most popular destination is Kuwohi, also known as Clingman’s Dome, the highest point in Smoky Mountain National Park at 6,643 feet. It was officially recognized by its original Cherokee name Kuwohi by the National Park Service in 2024; at the time of my visit it was still named for a Confederate general.

Unfortunately, being a popular park to begin with, that meant we had a nearly 45 minute wait just to get a parking spot. Frustratingly, there were plenty of spots available on the back side of the lot, but everyone at the front of the vehicle queue just waited until a spot opened that they could see down the main strip. They really needed a ranger as a parking attendant. (Of course, our dependence on automobiles in order to get closer to and appreciate nature is a topic deserving its own essay at some point. Probably after a certain new attraction opens in Florida…)

From the parking lot, it’s about a half mile hike up a paved trail. The heat, humidity, and altitude is just enough that this isn’t the most pleasant of hikes, especially with the crowds atop the blacktop. Still there are already some good views to be had.

The peak of Kuwohi isn’t a sharp pinnacle like how we usually imagine mountain tops. The gradual crest offers enough room to place an observation tower. This modernist concrete structure was built in 1959, and features a spiral ramp to reach the top. This is the most iconic place in Smoky Mountains National Park, both for the views and significance of the mountain, and the unique appearance of the tower itself amid the vast wilderness.

After getting my fill of photographs, it was time to head back down.

While many visitors will turn back to Gatlinburg after completing Kuwohi, we continued down the North Carolina side of Newfound Gap Road. Deeper in the valley, we made one final stop at the Kephart Prong Trail. Earlier, the park ranger at the visitor center recommended this location when I explained our itinerary, telling us that we could expect beautiful scenery and very few people. This was absolutely correct.

The full hike is a little over four miles round trip. We didn’t have the time or energy for that, but did explore a little distance down the first stretch along the banks of the Oconaluftee River.

Continuing further into North Carolina, we left the boundaries of the National Park but the Blue Ridge Parkway continued to have some breathtaking scenery. Here was a pull-over vista at Bunches Bald Overlook. We even drove past the remains of the former Ghost Town in the Sky theme park, although I wasn’t able to get a photo while driving.

Asheville

North Carolina, U.S.A.

Our evening plans on the way to Charlotte involved a stop in Asheville, North Carolina. The city is known for its art scene and history, particularly the Biltmore Estate as the largest private house in the United States. It’s the kind of dense liberal oasis amid the rural conservative expanse you can find throughout the country, including my hometown, so Asheville felt familiar to me. One could easily spend a couple days here as a weekend trip, although we only had a couple hours. I was mostly focused on the restaurant scene in Asheville, of which there were many highly rated options to choose from. James Beard-winning Indian and Spanish restaurants caught my eye, but with only one meal in the city I decided to emphasize “local ingredients and cuisine” and ultimately landed on Rhubarb, an acclaimed farm-to-table restaurant in the center of downtown. Parking was a bit of a challenge but ultimately made it to our reservation just in time.

It was hard to pick from the menu, which was always changing with the seasons. As I recall, the green cocktail was very unique with a bright, floral taste, as was the salad starter. The pork with rhubarb entree I got was very rich and satisfying, although maybe a little too much so. I remember thinking it didn’t balance the other dishes quite like I had hoped, which I suppose was on me. Pie a la mode for dessert. It was a very good meal, although not quite up to the same level as what we experienced in Nashville. That just means I’ll have to come back again sometime and try more restaurants around Asheville.

Unfortunately by the time I published this you can no longer visit Rhubarb. The restaurant closed temporarily following the historic flooding in Asheville in 2024 from Hurricane Helene, forcing road closures that almost completely isolated the city for a while. While the city has been able to rebuild and revitalize, Rhubarb’s closure ultimately became permanent.

With a bit of time after dinner, we did a walk around downtown to see some public art and hopefully burn off a few calories.

First was the “Flat Iron Sculpture,” looking more than a little similar to a certain Monopoly piece.

Several black cat sculptures form the “Cat Walk” installation, including these two.

More sculptures and plaques along the walk.

At the corner of Pritchard Park one can find the “Deco Gecko” sculpture.

The hour was far too late to see the Biltmore Estate, not that “Gilded Age mansions turned into wineries for bougie tourists” was high on my list of things to experience anyway. But we did need gas and caffeine for the remaining drive to Charlotte that night, and decided it would be fun to stop by the famed “fancy” McDonald’s in Biltmore Village on the way out of town. This McDonald’s was built in accordance with the strict historic building codes in the faux English cottage stylized Biltmore Village, with elaborate wood trim, a baby grand piano, and staff wearing bow-ties.

In actuality, this example of a non-standard McDonalds had appeared to be on its way to being standardized, a similar story I’ve encountered at many formerly eccentric fast food locations. The baby grand piano was still in the corner, although the trim and finishes appeared to have been simplified and staff uniforms converted into standard McDonalds attire. We took a few pictures, used the restroom, and got a large Coca-Cola to take on the road. We still had two hours to get to our hotel.

Next: Carowinds

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